Care about what people think of you and you’ll always be a prisoner. (Lao Tzu)
There are many ways to get a divorce. You can run when no one is paying attention. You can both agree this isn’t working. You can cheat so the betrayal pushes who you love out the door. Generally speaking, after a year of making it all legal and cut and dry, both parties usually figure out how to get on with their life. Don’t look back. Be glad it’s over. Chalk it up to the craziness of life and love and relationships.
Kevin Durant didn’t get the breakup memo. The one that says you get over the one you dumped.
After Kevin Durant left the Thunder in shocking fashion, he wanted everyone to think it was no big deal. Durant wanted everyone to believe he was adulting and turning the new page on a life he wanted more than the old life he set flames to. But people rarely change to the point you ask yourself “why did I like that guy in the first place.”
Durant’s rep had been of a lethal scorer in the modern NBA. His character was the nice guy, the ultimate teammate, the dude who you want as your neighbor, your cousin, your friend. Then he went out and did all the opposite things we think a person like that would do. He was selfish which he was entitled to be. It’s his career. He has to live with the consequences which is the problem. He wants it both ways. He wants to change things while he wants things to stay the same.
Even worse, he seems like that ex who breaks up with you by text and still is hanging around. It’s not ghosting Durant is doing. Ghosting would actually be preferable- stop communicating. But he’s haunting. Haunting is when the ex scans your mentions and snaps without you knowing it. They still care.
About OKC, Durant still cares.
He said this to Bleacher Report about OKC.
“It’s f_____ up that you’re saying that stuff about me because just a couple months before I was the greatest thing since sliced bread because I was playing for your team. It was all good when I was doing something for you. It was all good when I was representing you. Now I decided to take my career in my hands and I’m a bitch? That is confusing.”
Really? Is he that unaware? Fans embrace and deify players because they are part of the family. Divorce breaks families up. Every one goes their separate ways.
The summer version of Durant said “I truly had invested everything I had into the people I played for and those people that I know and love and trust… to turn their back on me after I was fully invested in them, it was just more than I could take.”
There is something about this version of Durant, the crying tears Durant, that seems a little bit fragile which is what the whispers about Durant always were. Not tough six inches deep. A pleaser.
Durant cut ties but he didn’t. He divorced but he’s still longing. He wants back in with the people he dismissed. But there is a tax you pay when you think about yourself. Here’s a life lesson for KD. You can’t make people like you. You can’t.
This emo Durant makes me wonder about his ambition. Does he need more than a ring? Does he need his ex flame to drag out the memories and talk about how wonderful he was?
Durant is like the dude who gets with the rich girl and he still longs for the bae who worked at Starbucks even when he is moving into a twenty room mansion.
Durant told Ric Bucher that he gets more criticism than other hallowed players. Excuse me while I laugh. Really? More judgment than selfish Kobe and narcissist Jordan and he will never win anything Shaq and Tragic who blew the Finals and LeBron too scared of pressure? Just stop.
The only KD criticism came last year for a few months because of his own self-inflicted wound. In OKC, he was in a cocoon. He was adored, loved, protected. It was his choice to leave the cocoon. He can’t transfer the consequences of his decision, making himself the victim and the rest of us the villain.
What I fault KD for is not how he shut with a slam the OKC door but rather why he gleefully and continuously is giving the public mixed messages. He has some Dwight Howard in him, the won’t look in the mirror disease.
In Durant’s revisionist history world winning a championship was never a goal and if he never won one in his career he still would consider himself a champion because of how he perfected his craft, improved upon his weaknesses, and remained at the top of the league in production and achievement. But if that is really the case, then why leave OKC for the Warriors? Why not go to the Knicks? Because in NY leadership is required, something Durant finds cloying and suffocating.
It would have been mature of Durant to say in July of 2016 I want to be on the west coast. I love the lifestyle. I love waking up and looking at the ocean.
The Kevin Durant backlash is because he gives off an insecure person’s energy. He is not being really honest, he’s not self-aware, he is trying to make people like him, he is not being himself. That lacks courage.
When his mother explained (to him) the Thunder fans really loved him while he was there, Durant was skeptical. “They don’t love me if they can cut me that quick and call me a coward or be so happy when someone calls me a cupcake. I don’t know if that is love. Fandom is another level of love. It’s irrational stalker-ish love.”
No, not stalker love because a stalker is trying to prove (desperately, violently) that they cannot live without you nor do they want to. The Thunder fans aren’t neurotic. They are just angry. They thought Durant loved them with loyalty. They feel as if they were lied to, as if Durant manipulated them by being the good son.
It’s curious how Durant has not gotten over OKC but its not by any stretch of the imagination peculiar nor is it a crime. Some breakups are in name only. The heart has not let go.
Durant has broken up but he mourns his ex. He once said, “I love those people (OKC) and I don’t never want to hurt them.” Does he not know divorce really, really hurts?
After trying and failing to pull off an illusion that he had burned bridges, Durant the sensitive has returned. It’s out in the open, his unrequited OKC affection bordering on obsession. He’s haunted by the past instead of putting it behind him and focusing on the future and title number two.
Kevin Durant is still dewey eyed in love with the OKC Thunder, who he divorced on purpose 18 months ago.
“I’m a real person, dog. I don’t try to be Superman or a tough guy. I know I’m not. I know I’m emotional about some stuff.”
photo via llananba